Hello September! It’s Virgo season and time is really flying. My 29th birthday is coming up, so this post is dedicated to my personal growth over the past year. My journey has been very spiritual and mental. I have evolved so much that the old Jas had to be laid to rest, so that my higher self could be born! My best friend and I literally had a funeral for our “old selves” earlier this year, and buried all the bad habits, lies, and negative thoughts we had about ourselves. I am so grateful for this transformation because it led me to peace, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Honestly, there is no greater feeling than truly knowing and believing that the Universe loves me and is on my side.
I now realize I’ve had a purpose and passion all along. I was just too busy worrying and stressing to notice. I understand the plans I had for myself and the plans God has for me are not one in the same. So it was so important for me in my journey to just let go and trust God’s process. At the end of 2018, I did a social media cleanse. I tend to isolate myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed so that I can recenter, and social media can be draining if its not used efficiently. During this time, I received ideas, information, and inspiration that gave me clarity and allowed me to take control of my life. Since I didn’t have social media I found other ways to occupy my time, such as listening to podcasts. My reality began to shift…
Once 2019 hit, I was even more focused and ready to make new commitments to myself. One of those commitments was to read one book every month. This commitment alone has accelerated my self help journey. Every book I finish unlocks a different level of consciousness and helps me to maintain a positive outlook on life. I love books on finance and I also enjoy motivational/spiritual books.
I started this year praying for, then ignoring my signs. I admit I was still caught up in trying to love someone else before I fully learned to love myself. In the midst of emotional confusion I would say prayers like “God, if this person is not meant for me, please show me a sign”. I would receive the sign, but continue to allow this person in my life, which never set well with my spirit. I felt uneasy and unfulfilled. Finally, I started to realize the longer I held on to toxic relationships I was only delaying my blessings. Then I started getting good at letting go!
I prayed for other things too, like patience, strength, and guidance so I could raise my children in a way that God sees fit. I remember being in such a dark place not even a year ago; my anxiety was taking over my mind and body, I cried all the time, and I felt helpless. I felt like I was failing my children, which was so depressing, because being a mother is my highest duty on this Earth. I was always yelling and allowing my emotions to take over me. I was always exhausted and felt like there weren’t enough hours in the day. Single parenting is hard! But God heard my cries, and I was able to step into light once I surrendered ALL of my problems to the Universe. I started following my signs instead of ignoring them, and my life has continued to be divinely guided ever since.
I am in the flow and simultaneously a work in progress.
I make an effort to show up everyday as my highest self, but I’m also human. Sometimes my energy gets thrown off and I experience sadness, regret, anxiety, and fear. But the key is I only allow myself one day to vibe so low when I am going through something. I feel through all of my emotions because they are valid, but they do not define who I AM. Even when I am experiencing negative emotions I intentionally look for the positives in my situation which created that emotion, and that allows me to move forward quickly.
This year marks my rebirth. I am renewed. Not only is my faith stronger than ever, but I am aligning with my purpose, which is sharing light with others. Countless opportunities have come my way this year, and because I opened my mind & heart, I have been ready to embrace them all. Some of my highlights for 2019 include starting my blog (my passion) and meeting my money coach. Fast forward to now and my vision is clearer and BIGGER than ever.
So as I step into the last year of my twenties, I am radiating divine feminine energy. I am calling ALL of my POWER back to me. Here’s how:
Every year for my birthday, I look forward to partying my ass off! I always celebrate my birthday on Labor Day weekend and taking shots is a tradition. But this year I’m celebrating without any alcohol. I tend to overindulge so I decided to detox. At first I thought my use of alcohol was harmless; I work hard all week so it’s ok to let loose from time to time, right? I went from social drinking on the weekends, to drinking a few times a week. I admit my problem with drinking is knowing my limits. I have had so many lit nights! But once I realized how much I was allowing alcohol to interfere with my greatness, I challenged myself to do better.
Today is my 21st day of sobriety and I want to remain sober until New Years Eve as a cleansing. This gives me time to prove to myself I’ve gained more discipline and self control. So far it has been a cake walk, because I genuinely do not desire alcohol. I guess I’m not comfortable with the mind altering aspect anymore.. I just finished a book called Think and Grow Rich which reinforced how the over indulgence of alcohol can destruct my mind. I honestly believe I read that book in divine timing.
This year for my birthday, I booked a stay at Louisville’s newest & nicest hotel, The Omni. The hotel is beautiful and I really appreciated how the decor was influenced by Louisville culture. I was alone, soaking up all the peace I found in my solitude. After check in, I headed down to the pool area which is on the rooftop! The views were priceless. Then I treated myself to dinner and dessert at a restaurant that is walking distance from the hotel. That night, I slept naked in the cozy hotel bed with my phone on DND.
The next morning, I was pampered at the Mokara Spa and received a 50 minute signature massage. I was offered orange juice after I declined a glass of champagne. I sat in the sauna for a short few minutes, hung out in the spa lounge, and left my appointment feeling relaxed and refreshed. This gift to myself was awesome. I gave myself one full day to show myself some love! I will continue to LOVE myself everyday.
Somewhere along my journey I started to study myself and my thought processes. I used to always consider myself an overthinker, which seems to be the norm for most. But the truth about the overthinker is his/her thoughts are in control, causing worry and loss of sleep at night. It destroys your mind and spirit to stress about the future or the what ifs, and that’s exactly what overthinking is..I became interested in learning more about my mind and how to master it. I started redirecting my negative thoughts, and finding time to create stillness in my mind. I paid attention to how my subconscious thinking was filled with lies that kept me from walking in my truth. Becoming aware of my thoughts and taking that control has given me so much power.
Becoming more self aware really sped up my healing process. I have discovered some of my emotional triggers. One of the most dysfunctional areas of my life was the relationships I had with men. Since I would not accept bad luck with men as my truth, I started digging deeper within myself. I started thinking, “maybe the problem isn’t with the other person, maybe the problem lies within me”.. What I found is that my relationships with men reflected the relationship I had with my father in a lot of ways; and this was a painful truth. But getting down to the roots helped me grow because I was able to forgive myself and others. Now all of my energy is directed towards walking in my truth and chasing my passions instead of people; that is freedom and fulfillment!
I always like to emphasize how I have been practicing mindfulness by meditating and focusing on my breath. Being present in the moment is the greatest gift we can give ourselves.
P.S. I am so grateful for my growth. The fact that you are reading this is another reason why I celebrate. Thank you. The best is yet to come!
Happy Birthday to me!